Coffee & cigarettes

(To the tune of Cross Road Blues)

Oh, I walked into a Costa the other day
wanting me a cappucino,
Oh yes I walked into a Costa the other day
wanting me a mean strong cappucino
(maybe even a gooey brownie)

I marched right upto the counter,
order decisively on my lips,
ready to fight for my right
for no extra cream or chocolate bits.

But I stopped short to gape like an imbecile
at a big shiny counter
offering bunches and bunches of
fancy-looking cancer-sticks.

Oh Costa, are you really doing that poorly?
Oh Oh Costa, are your margins really hurting so much?
Or did you just look around and figure
heck, everybody’s selling them
so we’ll look odd if we don’t too?

You know it don’t make no sense
because nobody can smoke them in your shops;
Oh you know it don’t make no sense
because it’s not like they’ll lounge around for some brew.

Or did some marketing ‘genius’ fool you
that the two have a subliminal link
(subliiiiiiiiminal baby),
and tell you that java and arabica
drive the need for nicotiana?

I used to like you Costa
no, not because you’re cheap;
Oh I used to like you Costa
nor because your brew is at all sleek;
But only because you employ those who’d
struggle elsewhere because they can’t hear or speak.

But now I wonder about you Costa,
I reallly, really do;
And I don’t care about your motives
I just won’t be getting my mojo again from you.
From youuuuuuu.

Ever, baby, ever.


Seriously, W.T.F. Costa?! Why would you be selling cigarettes at your outlets? For the life of me, I can’t remember whether you always sold them and I just noticed it.  But even if you didn’t, and this is just some trial at select outlets, or a short-term promotional deal, or some gimmick where you’re trying to boost your margins and differentiate yourself from your rivals by luring people who want premium cigarettes and getting them to stay for a drink – it sucks.

Not because you shouldn’t have the choice to sell what you want, or people should have the choice to buy (and consume) what they want.  But because you go on and on so much about your ethical standards and the work you do with the Rainforest Alliance and all the farmers you’re helping and all the sustainability work you’re doing.  And you then go and promote a product that harms the immediate user, their bystanders, the air around them, and the soil it’s grown in.

Why would you do this? Why why why why why why?!

Su total ghelchodiagiri chhe.
Enjoy your ban from the Ranting Bawa basket of consumer goods.  Bye bye.