Empowered for a day

So many articles about Women’s Day.  What it means, and how it can be used, and how to celebrate it. So, so many articles.

The best thing to do with Women’s Day?
Ignore it.

Because acknowledging it means you’re still accepting token platitudes.

Because accepting it means you’re effectively giving up your right to the rest of the year.

Because celebrating it means you’re okay with being treated as a special case that needs propping up, because you’re obviously incapable of doing so on your own.

Because nobody insists on marking Men’s Day* with special film screenings and product launches and articles about achieving self-actualisation. And till that happens, you still haven’t achieved the equality that you’re fighting for.

And mostly, mostly, because it’s a bloody sales gimmick!

And if you agree to this concept, then those moora marketing people will get even more encouraged to foist some other stupid ‘Day’ onto us, which means I won’t be able to access any information medium for weeks without being bombarded by ads and articles which basically suggest that I fork over my moolah in return for some gimcrack gewgaw.  And not just a few ads, lots and pots of bheja-frying blathertisements!

So, pretty please with a layer of extra maska, stop buying into this guff!  And the next time somebody says ‘Happy Women’s Day’, sock ’em one. Or sling them a slipper.  Otherwise, khodai na kasam, I’ll call you every afternoon and wish you Happy Day Day.  And sing you the official song.  Yes, there’s one.  I invented it.  It’s mind-scrambingly awful.  And I’ll do it in full Bombay-local-urchin-channelling-Altaf-Raja mode.

You’ve been warned.

* 19 November, apparently.